Other People’s Lives

other-peoples-lives

“Other people’s lives seem more interesting ‘cuz they ain’t mine” ~ Modest Mouse Other People’s Lives (1999) 

 

It’s so hard for me not to compare my life with my friends, my colleagues, acquaintances, or even social media personalities.

I have friends that seem to be just moving with the flow easily. Always taking some next step with their life. Or maybe they are just partying and having a good time. Regardless of what they are doing I’m always comparing myself.

What I am doing?

I see my friends moving to a beautiful area in Northern California. One to go back to school, studying what she love, the other her husband following the one he loves.

Should I move there? Should I have followed my passion in school? Maybe I’ll go back.

I see my friend busting his ass hustling to get in at a good firm to become a financial advisor.

Should I be looking for a corporate job? Am i falling behind in the career world?

I see some of my friends working in the service industry making “good money” and partying a lot.

That looks fun! Should I just relax and do that?

I see my friends from exchange on Facebook posting pictures from their travels.

Damn I need to get back out in the world!!

– –  –

The next thing I know I have all these conflicting desires in my head. Each one pressing on unique emotional stressors. There isn’t any type of guilt that hasn’t been twisted to hurt me.

But why?

Why are other people’s lives causing me so much stress in my own?

I’ve concluded it’s because of a few reasons. The most important being I really don’t know what I am doing or what I want out of life. When I see other people doing what seems like what is right for them, I see their happiness, and then I wonder. If I did that, would I be happy?

 

My Solution:

Create a list of the things I want. What are the things that make me happy? What do I want out of life?

The things that I want are what is most important in my life. The things that I want are the things that will make me the most happy. I have to honest with myself about what I want from life. Then go out them! Don’t worry about what others are doing. Just do me. As long as I can do the things that make me happy, I will be happy.

But, be cautious. Drugs, alcohol, and partying are fun! But it might not be your life goal. It might be what you want right now. But, not what you want for forever. It’s about balancing. Working towards your future while having fun in the present.

The best thing I can do is create an environment, more importantly a mental state, that allows me to see the fun in the process. Self-improvement is a process. It’s not always fun, but if I can learn to love the process I think I will be okay.

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